New Sermon Series

 Next week, we will begin a new sermon series entitled, A Cross-Centered Community.  This series is designed to help remind us how we are to be living together as the body of Christ.  Specifically, how we are to live as a cross-centered community.  The cross should be the focus of all that we do as a church.  It should be at the center of our worship, our message, our mission, and our ministry to each other.  This series will also show us how our new small groups will help us better live cross-centered lives.  Specifically, it will deal with the following topics:  

• July 8    Together (Heb 10:19-25)

• July 15  Care (Rom 12:9-16)

• July 22  Grow (Eph 4:11-16

• July 29  Encourage (Eph 4:29)

• Aug 5    Guard (Heb 3:12-13)

 If we invest our gifts and time in ministering to one another in these ways, we will better become a cross-centered community, bringing glory to God, encouraging one another, and reaching the city with the gospel.

SERMON NOTES: Ephesians 5:25-6:4

Sermon Notes are not exact transcripts of sermons preached at BBC. Instead, they are simply the notes the pastor took with him into the pulpit and preached from. As a result, the actual sermon that was preached may vary from what is posted.

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Lover – Displaying Christ-like Love to Our Wives and Children

Eph 5:25-6:4  

Introduction   

The following is a real letter written by a Christian women to her pastor.  The kids are in bed. There’s nothing on TV tonight. I ask my husband if he minds if I turn the tube off. He grunts. As I walk to the set my mind is racing. Maybe, just maybe tonight we’ll talk. I mean have a conversation that consists of more than my usual question with his mumbled one-word answer or, more accurately, no answer at all. Silence—I live in a world with continuous noise but, betweenhim and myself, silence. Please—oh God, let him open up. I initiate (once again; for the thousandth time). My heart pounds—oh, how can I word it this time? What can I say that will open the door to just talk? I don’t have to have a DEEP MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION. JUST SOMETHING! 

As I open my mouth—he gets up and goes to the bedroom. The door closes behind him. The light showing under the door gives way to darkness. So does my hope. I sit alone on the couch. My heart begins to ache. I’m tired of being alone. Hey, I’m married. I have been for years. Why do I sit alone? The sadness undergoes a change slowly—then with increased fervor I get mad. I AM MAD. I am sick and tired of living with a sissy. A wimp—a coward. You know, he’s afraid of me! 

Hostile, you say. You better believe it. I’m sick and tired of living in a world of passive men. 

My two sons like sports. They’re pretty good. They could be a lot better if their Dad would take a little of his precious time and play catch with them. (I’m sorry, catch once a year at the church picnic doesn’t quite make the boys into great ball players.) But Dad’s too busy. He’s at work. He’s at the health club. He’s riding his fourwheeler. He’s working on the car. He’s playing golf. He’s tired. He’s watching a video movie. So who plays catch with my boys? Me. My husband says, “You shouldn’t be playing men’s sports.” So who’s going to do it? He says he will. But he doesn’t. Remember? He’s too busy. Satisfying himself doing what he likes. . . . So my poor sons have to be second-rate in sports. They could have been good. Really good. Yeah—I’m mad.

 My daughter is a teenager. She likes boys. They notice her. They pay attention to her. She responds. I know what’s coming. I try to talk to her. But it’s not me she wants. It’s Dad. Yeah, Dad! If he’d just hug her, notice her, talk to her—just a little—she wouldn’t need those boys so much. But no . . . so she turns elsewhere for attention and love. And there’s nothing I can do.

A mom isn’t enough. Kids need a father. And not just a body, a passive, silent presence. And here’s the killer. My husband’s father did the same number on him. Didn’t hug him. Didn’t take him to anything, let alone watch his baseball games. And he HATES his father. Now my husband’s doing the same thing. Will our sons grow up to be passive? Will they be cowards?   

Is this you, men?  Could your wives have written this letter?  That is not a picture of the kind of husband and father a Christian man is supposed to be.  In fact, if that is you, then you just don’t need work, you need to repent of sin.  Living in that way is sinful.

Let’s look to God’s word to show us what Christian husband and father is supposed to look like –

Eph 5:25-6:4 (ESV) 

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body.  [31] “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.  [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.     [6:1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  [2] “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), [3] “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”  [4] Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.     

1. Love Your Wives (5:25-33) 

Isn’t it amazing that Paul has to tell husbands to love their wives.  You would think that would be a no-brainer.  But if it is, then men we must not have any brains!   

The truth is, though, if we actually stop and think about it, we probably know why Paul has to say this, don’t we?  For many men, love is simply sex.  For a married man, there is certainly nothing wrong with enjoying sex.  But Paul says, that’s not all your wife is there for.  He says, ‘you must love her.’ And then he tells us what that love looks like and why we must strive to love our wives.

Love looks like Christ’s love for the church.  Specifically, Paul says, the laying down of Christ’s own life for the church. Jesus loved his people so much he died for them.  Worse yet, he died the death he didn’t deserve, but they did deserve.  God’s people are sinners who deserve death.  He was righteous and did not.  But because he loved them, he took their punishment for them.  That is the definition of love that should control our own behavior.  

But more than just following Jesus’ example, Paul says, you must love your wives as Christ loves the church because marriage reflects a divine mystery. He says, “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This [marriage] mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”   

From eternity past, Christ has loved the church; that love sets the pattern for our love in the marriage relationship.  Hold that thought for a minute.  Paul is not using marriage as a metaphor.  He says, God designed marriage – the coming together of husband and wife – to show the profound love he has for his own people.  

So, men if you do not love your wives as Christ loved the church, you become a living distortion of God’s love for his own people.  Your lack of love betrays and contradicts the truths of the gospel you claim to believe.   

So, do you see why it is so important that we get this right?   Paul says, love with a Christ-like love.  Well what does that look like?  From our passage, Paul points to two specific things.   

            A. Love that is characterized by sacrifice 

In ancient Greek history we are told of Cyrus, king of Persia.  In one account, we read that the wife of one of Cyrus’ generals was accused of treason and so ordered to be executed.  At first, the general did not know of his wife’s charge.  But upon finding out, he rushed to the palace of King Cyrus, burst into the throne room, and threw himself on the floor. He begged, “Oh, my lord, Cyrus, take my life instead of hers.  Let me die in her place.” Cyrus, who by all historical accounts was truly a noble and extremely sensitive man was touch by the general’s offer, and let both go free.  He is quoted as saying, “love like that must not be spoiled by death.” Furthermore, it is reported that as the general and his wife were walking home, the general was contemplative about what had happened.  He turned to his wife said, “did you notice how kindly the king looked upon us as he issued your pardon?”  The wife replied, “I had no eyes for the king.  I saw only the man who was willing to die in my place.”   

Men, do you want to know how to fulfill your duty as husbands to God?  Do you want to know how to make your wife remain lovingly devoted to you?  Love her sacrificially. 

To be fair, most of us will never have the opportunity to make the ultimate sacrifice and die for our wives.  But there is underlying principle that should affect even the most mundane events of our lives.   

I am reminded of one wife who said, “Dear, I know that you are willing to die for me; you have told me that many times. But while you are waiting to die, could you just fill in some of the time by helping me dry the dishes?” 

Plan to put her needs first in the relationship.  Thus, as Paul says, ‘husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.”  When we are hungry, we eat, when we are cold, we get a blnket.  We instinctively meet our own needs, often without even thinknig about what we are doing.  Likewise, we should be meeting our wife’s needs in the same way.

All of us are inherently selfish.  Fight that sinful nature and think first of meeting your wife’s needs, not your own.            

When possible, change your schedule to make things easy for her.   Ask her where she wants to go on vacation. Find out when she needs to get away with friends for the evening (you cook dinner – everyone can cook EasyMac or buy McDonald’s)  This afternoon, sit her down and ask her – ask her – ‘Honey, how can I better meet your needs?’             

B. Love that results in sanctification  

Paul says that “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [so] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (6:26-27). 

The imagery here is of the an old, broken down bodies, whose skin has deteriorated with age, being renewed and revitalized so that the smallest imperfection and blemish is gone.

You know those Orbitz gum commercials?  There is one with Snoop Dog going to hell for his dirty mouth.  But then the Orbitz lady comes, guives him the gum, ‘cleans’ his mouth and presto!  He’s in heaven.   (of course, no change really occured)

Paul is of course not all that concerned with the externals.  Rather, he is using the language to serve as an illustration of the radical, inward, spiritual change that takes place in the lives of the Christians. Because of Christ love for his people, he has made it possible for not only for us to be declared innocent before God, but for us to actually have the stain of sin removed from our souls.  

Like Jesus’ concern for his bride the church, husbands, we must likewise be concerned with the spiritual welfare of our wives.  This means, we must do things like encourage our wives walk with the Lord.  We should encourage them to spend time with God (maybe do work for them, so they can get away). We should make a point of doing Bible study them and the family.  This doesn’t need to be anything elaborate.  Pray for your wives, and with your wives.  Try to live up to the standards God has set for your life and apologize to your wife when you fail.  When your sin affects the family, ask for her forgiveness.   

Men, you need to do anything and everything you can to help contribute to the spiritual life of your wife.  Just as Christ continues to sanctify us by through his Spirit and his word, we must seek to help our wives reflect the inner beauty of godliness   

2. Love Your Children (6:1-4) 

The word ‘love’ is not in this section of the passage.  Nevertheless, the role of the father in the life of the children commended here by Paul is nothing less than love.              

A. Love that reflects God  

Notice in verse 1, Paul tells children to obey their parents and he cites one of the ten commandments as support for this.  Remember in Exodus 20, God told Israel: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”  

At first, these words seem familiar to us, without much concern to think about them for very long. But consider the word honor.  It is more than simply ‘obey’ –  to ‘honor’ is to “prize highly; to show respect; to glorify and exalt.” Psalm 86:9: “All the nations you have made shall come and worship before you, O Lord, and shall glorify [honor] your name.” (same word)  

Now, you may be saying, what’s your point?  Well, if you are familiar with Exodus 20, you will recall that just a few verses before “Honor your father and mother,”  God said, “You shall have no other gods before me ….  You shall not make for yourself a carved image ….  You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God ….You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.”  

Now do you see the problem?  The Lord spends three out of the ten commandments, ensuring that he alone will receive the honor due his name; that nothing will be worshipped or given glory in his place, and then he seems to give it away by saying, “honor your parents.”

So, what’s going on here?  Parents are in many ways supposed to act as God to their children.  Let that sink in for a minute. You are such suppose to teach your children who God is by being their parents. 

Why?  Because kids are not abstract thinkers.  You cannot explain ‘justice’ or ‘mercy’ as an intellectual or philosophical idea and expect them to get it – they just don’t think that way.  The same is true with God – try and simply explain God as a concept and you will not make much progress. 

However, if you can tell them a story about justice, or mercy, or God, they will almost certainly get it.  Therefore, we must chose to help children understand who God is and how we should live before him, by giving them an example through our own lives. You are to show them God by the way you live. 

Now, in order to show God to your children – you must first know God.  You must have a relationship with him. Furthermore, you must understand God and seek to imitate him. Pour over the scriptures, with an emphasis on seeing God’s character and actions, and then make an effort, asking for God to bless it, to evidence his character in your life;  Particularly, in your role as father.              

B. Love that produces godliness 

Godliness comes through discipline and instruction.  That is, we are to be teaching our children the things of God.  We are to be teaching them what it means to live before God. We will go into this more next week.  But for now, let me say – as Paul points out from this passage – part of teaching will require that you discipline them; that you punish their sin. 

Proverbs tells us that discipline is necessary for two reasons:  

First, “folly is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of discipline drives it far from him” (Prov 22:15).  It will take more than words to dislodge sinful attitudes from the hearts of our children. 

And then second, character is like a plant; it will often grow more when it’s cut back. “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb 12:11).  

But what is the motivation behind such disciple?  Hebrews says, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves.”  If you love your children, you will discipline them.  Prov 13:24 says, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”  

Understanding this keeps you from moving to one of two extremes: abusive and overly harsh discipline, no discipline at all. Just as our heavenly Father often teaches his children through discipline, so also, you as an earthly father – one to whom God has entrusted these children – you must discipline your children in love.   

This is why Paul gives the warning, ‘do not provoke your children to anger.’  Paul says, you can have the best intentions of doing this, and mess it all up.  In your attempt to instruct about sin and train your children for godliness, you can do so in a way that does not reflect God.  You can be too harsh, too unloving and drive them away from you.  We do this in ways we often never think of. 

You have this morning an entire extra sheet, just showing many of the ways you can provoke your children to anger.    

Conclusion  

Charles Francis Adams, the 19th century political figure and diplomat, kept a diary.  One day he entered: “Went fishing with my son today – a day wasted.” His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: “Went fishing with my father – the most wonderful day of my life!”  

The father thought he was wasting his time while fishing with his son, but his son saw it as an investment of time.  He received it as an act of love from his father.  

Fathers and husbands – you are far more important than you think.  In many ways, God has designed the family so that it revolves around you. 

If you neglect your duties; if you don’t love your family the way God intends, then your families will likely fall apart.   Your children will rebel, your wives will be unhappy and unloving towards you, and the glory of God will not shine from your life to lost sinners who desperately need to see it.

SERMON NOTES: 2 Samuel 23:8-39 (Men’s Basic Training message 1)

Sermon Notes are not exact transcripts of sermons preached at BBC. Instead, they are simply the notes the pastor took with him into the pulpit and preached from. As a result, the actual sermon that was preached may vary from what is posted.

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Servant – Devoted Service to God
2 Samuel 23:8-39

Introduction

Last week we finished a series of messages for the women of our church, helping to lay a foundation for our newly designed women’s ministry. This week we begin our series for men.

Several weeks ago, I joked that the reason the image promoting our men’s series was a boxer taping his hands before a fight was that our men would get beat up. The truth is, I thought the image went well with the theme of our men’s series – Basic Training.

For years, men in the Christian Church have struggled to find their place. Not just in church, but in home, at work – in life. On average, for every ten men in this church,

• 9 will have children who leave church
• 8 aren’t satisfied by their jobs
• 6 are paying only the minimum on their credit card bills
• 5 have major problems with pornography
• 4 will get divorced
• only 1 will have a biblical worldview – a way of seeing the life through the lens of God’s word.

• 25% of Christian men say they are not satisfied with themselves as fathers.
• 62% of Christian men say they are not satisfied with their marriage.
• 53% admit to fantasizing about having sex with other women.
• 54% feel shame about past sexual experiences.

In 1991, 42% of men in the US attended church regularly. Despite the emphasis on men in thing like Promise Keepers and the Million Man March, by 1997, the number of men regularly attending church dropped to 28%.

In Christian churches and families throughout the country, leadership roles that God desires men to fill have gone unfilled, or have been filled by women. You cannot find a man to head a ministry or pray in church or lead his family’s spiritual life.

And yet, there is something profoundly powerful about men taking leadership in spiritual things. When a child is the first to attend church, 3½% of their families will follow. When a wife and mother first begins attending church, 17% of the families follow. But when a husband or father first begins attending church, 93% of their families follow them in attending church.

That may be surprising, but it shouldn’t be. That’s the way God has designed thing. Men, God has called us to be the spiritual leaders in our families and in his Church, and we have largely dropped the ball. More than dropping it, we have purposely given it to our wives and mothers and sisters and told them to lead.

Often, Christian women can serve excellently, they can lead children into communion with God – but things in our families and churches will never be as good as they could be with them in the lead because that’s not what God wants.

The men’s ministry we will be forming is not so much a men’s ministry as much as it will be a ministry to men. We need more than a few pancake breakfasts and service projects. We need less to do, and more opportunities to learn how to BECOME what God wants us to be.

Men, it’s time for us to get back to the basics. It’s time for us to again, or perhaps for the first time, clearly see what God has called us to be as Christian men, and begin living that kind of life.

Today, we begin at the beginning, looking at core of Christian discipleship – living as a devoted servant of Christ.

That way we are going to do this might surprise you. We are not going to look at a passage on Christian discipleship from the NT. Instead, we want to see what such a life looks like. We want to see some examples of what it means to live a life of devoted service to Christ. And instead of looking at some of Jesus’ own disciples, we want to look at those who served King David.

King David serves as a foreshadowing of Christ. That means he gives us an idea of what Christ will be like before he comes. Though David gives us a taste of what Jesus will be like, when Jesus actually came, he did so in the perfect fulfillment of the foreshadowing. He is so much more than David ever was. Thus, if we look to a group of men – mighty men – who were devoted to serving David (the lesser king), how much more should our lives be devoted to Christ (the greater King)?

[trans] This morning, we want to look at 2 Samuel 23. There we see a role call of David’s mighty men. These were the special ops force of David’s army; men who had pledged an unwavering allegiance to King David. From their lives of devoted service to David, we can learn how to live as devoted servants of Christ.

READ – 2 Samuel 23:8-39

These are the names of the mighty men whom David had: Josheb-basshebeth a Tahchemonite; he was chief of the three. He wielded his spear against eight hundred whom he killed at one time.
[9] And next to him among the three mighty men was Eleazar the son of Dodo, son of Ahohi. He was with David when they defied the Philistines who were gathered there for battle, and the men of Israel withdrew. [10] He rose and struck down the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand clung to the sword. And the Lord brought about a great victory that day, and the men returned after him only to strip the slain.
[11] And next to him was Shammah, the son of Agee the Hararite. The Philistines gathered together at Lehi, where there was a plot of ground full of lentils, and the men fled from the Philistines. [12] But he took his stand in the midst of the plot and defended it and struck down the Philistines, and the Lord worked a great victory.
[13] And three of the thirty chief men went down and came about harvest time to David at the cave of Adullam, when a band of Philistines was encamped in the Valley of Rephaim. [14] David was then in the stronghold, and the garrison of the Philistines was then at Bethlehem. [15] And David said longingly, “Oh, that someone would give me water to drink from the well of Bethlehem that is by the gate!” [16] Then the three mighty men broke through the camp of the Philistines and drew water out of the well of Bethlehem that was by the gate and carried and brought it to David. But he would not drink of it. He poured it out to the Lord
[17] and said, “Far be it from me, O Lord, that I should do this. Shall I drink the blood of the men who went at the risk of their lives?” Therefore he would not drink it. These things the three mighty men did.
[18] Now Abishai, the brother of Joab, the son of Zeruiah, was chief of the thirty. And he wielded his spear against three hundred men and killed them and won a name beside the three. [19] He was the most renowned of the thirty and became their commander, but he did not attain to the three.
[20] And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada was a valiant man of Kabzeel, a doer of great deeds. He struck down two ariels of Moab. He also went down and struck down a lion in a pit on a day when snow had fallen. [21] And he struck down an Egyptian, a handsome man. The Egyptian had a spear in his hand, but Benaiah went down to him with a staff and snatched the spear out of the Egyptian’s hand and killed him with his own spear. [22] These things did Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, and won a name beside the three mighty men. [23] He was renowned among the thirty, but he did not attain to the three. And David set him over his bodyguard.
[24] Asahel the brother of Joab was one of the thirty; Elhanan the son of Dodo of Bethlehem, [25] Shammah of Harod, Elika of Harod, [26] Helez the Paltite, Ira the son of Ikkesh of Tekoa, [27] Abiezer of Anathoth, Mebunnai the Hushathite, [28] Zalmon the Ahohite, Maharai of Netophah, [29] Heleb the son of Baanah of Netophah, Ittai the son of Ribai of Gibeah of the people of Benjamin, [30] Benaiah of Pirathon, Hiddai of the brooks of Gaash, [31] Abi-albon the Arbathite, Azmaveth of Bahurim, [32] Eliahba the Shaalbonite, the sons of Jashen, Jonathan, [33] Shammah the Hararite, Ahiam the son of Sharar the Hararite, [34] Eliphelet the son of Ahasbai of Maacah, Eliam the son of Ahithophel of Gilo, [35] Hezro of Carmel, Paarai the Arbite, [36] Igal the son of Nathan of Zobah, Bani the Gadite, [37] Zelek the Ammonite, Naharai of Beeroth, the armor-bearer of Joab the son of Zeruiah, [38] Ira the Ithrite, Gareb the Ithrite, [39] Uriah the Hittite: thirty-seven in all.

1. Courageous Service to Christ

Think about these guys for a minute. We only have here a few of the accounts of their military exploits. But if there is any one thing they would all have in common, it would probably be that each incident served to display their incredible courage in the face of overwhelming odds.

In v. 9, we read of Josheb killing 800 men in one day with his spear. Surely, other men were on the battlefield that day. But can you imagine the odds against Josheb and his men that he alone took out 800 of the enemy?

Then we read of Eleazar in vv. 9-10. The Bible says, “[Eleazar] was with David when they defied the Philistines who were gathered there for battle, and the men of Israel withdrew. He rose and struck down the Philistines until his hand was weary, and his hand clung to the sword. And the Lord brought about a great victory that day, and the men returned after him only to strip the slain.”

The rest of the army withdraws from the battle with the Philistines, but not Eleazar. He stands his ground, fighting until he cannot even loosen his grip on his sword. By the end of the battle, all that was left for the rest of the army to do was to come and plunder the dead enemy.

Then there was Shammah. Apparently, a Philistine raiding party came down upon Lehi during the harvest time, hoping to steal the crop of lentils. But Shammah defied them. Even when we are told the rest of the men of the city ran, he “took his stand in the midst of the plot and defended it.” The result was that the Philistines were defeated that day in a great one-man victory for Israel.

All of these men faced seemingly unbeatable foes with great courage because they had a single-minded devotion to their King. What about you, men? How much courage are you able to show in the face of the enemy because of your loyalty to Christ?

Some of you face seemingly unbeatable foes in the form of sin every day. Will you face them with courage? Some of you face seemingly unbeatable foe of fear. You are afraid to talk about your faith at work, or with your neighbor. You are afraid of what others will think of you if you want away from the dirty joke, or inappropriate conversation at work.

These were courageous, but they also knew the secret of real courage. Look again at v. 12 –
“[Shammah] he took his stand in the midst of the plot and defended it and struck down the Philistines, and the Lord worked a great victory.” This is the secret behind the story. God was at work in the lives of these men. He honored their courage and gave them victory.

When we face opposition to Christ in this world and in own hearts, we can have courage and assurance of victory, if we fight our battles in the strength God provides. Live by his Word, empowered by his Spirit, and the victory will be ours.

2. Loyal Devotion to Christ

These men were the embodiment of the Marine Corp motto – “Semper Fi.” Even when it meant death, they were loyal to their king. Look at vv. 13-16

And three of the thirty chief men went down and came about harvest time to David at the cave of Adullam, when a band of Philistines was encamped in the Valley of Rephaim. [14] David was then in the stronghold, and the garrison of the Philistines was then at Bethlehem. [15] And David said longingly, “Oh, that someone would give me water to drink from the well of Bethlehem that is by the gate!” [16] Then the three mighty men broke through the camp of the Philistines and drew water out of the well of Bethlehem that was by the gate and carried and brought it to David.

The city of David is occupied by the Philistines. Can you imagine how this would have made him feel? Unbelieving, gentile dogs have control of his hometown. And David is speaking out loud to himself. He’s not asking anyone to do this. He’s speaking out loud to himself one day and he says ‘what I would give just to have a sip of water from the well of Bethlehem, that city of my birth, the city of my youth which is now occupied by those filthy Philistines.’

Three of his great warriors overhear him and they say, ‘What do you think? Come on, let’s do it. let’s go get him some water.” So they go across the dessert, break through the garrisons of the Philistines, go into the city, draw water, fight their way back out, mount our horses, ride across the dessert and give our king a sip of water from the well of Bethlehem.

This is loyalty. This is more than following orders; it’s more than doing their duty – it is a deep, loving loyalty to their King. These men risked their lives just to give David a drink of water from his hometown.

But then look at what happens – But [David] would not drink of it. He poured it out to the Lord and said, “Far be it from me, O Lord, that I should do this. Shall I drink the blood of the men who went at the risk of their lives?” Therefore he would not drink it. These things the three mighty men did. (16b-17)

These three mighty men come back in with this wine skin full of water and they tell David was they have done and David takes it and pours it out on the ground. Now at that point you’re waiting for them to punch him out. But you see David was not disrespecting what they had done for him. In fact, it was just the opposite.

David was saying, I don’t deserve this kind of love, this kind of loyalty, and so I am pouring this water out as an offering to the Lord. Only the Lord deserves that kind of love and that kind of loyalty. Thus, it was a mark of David’s awe at the love and loyalty of these men. Nothing could have been a greater tribute to what they had done.

Again, men, I ask you – do you love Christ that much? Do you have that kind of loyalty to him? David acknowledges that he wasn’t worthy of that kind of loyalty. But Christ is worthy. Christ is worthy of such love and loyalty and sacrifice because he offered his own perfect life as a sacrifice for your sins.

Jesus willing gave up his life to fulfill God’s wrath against your sin. The punishment you deserve for your sin fell on him at the cross. But God did not leave him dead, but raised him back to life as Lord of all things. Who else but Christ deserves the kind of loyalty those men showed David? Who else by Christ deserves that kind of loyalty from your own life?

Matthew Henry says, “Were [these might men] so forward to expose themselves upon the least hint of their prince’s mind and so ambitious to please him? And shall not we covet to approve ourselves to our Lord Jesus by a ready compliance with every intimation of his will given us by his word, Spirit, and providence?

3. Brotherhood through Service to Christ

These men were more than just men who fought alongside each other in the same army. These guys were truly a band of brothers.

Think about the men who went to fetch the water from Bethlehem. There is no way that you are going in that kind of adventure with just anyone. You want your mates watching your back. You want to know that the guys behind you and beside you consider your life just as valuable as their own.

The fact that a strong sense of brotherhood existed among these mighty men probably isn’t surprising. But what is surprising is the kind of men that brought about such a brotherhood.

Many of these mighty men came from the tribe of Judah. But some did not. In fact, some were not even originally from Israel at all. Verse 37 tells us that among David’s chief men was one called Zelek the Ammonite. The Ammonites had been Israel’s enemies for generations but this man was now fighting for Israel. Then there was that famous Hittite – Uriah. Again, not an Israelite.

But then, even more interesting is what we read back in 1 Samuel 22. David has been anointed as King of Israel, but he has not yet been crowned and is on the run from Saul. He finds an inhospitable hiding place in Gath, so we are told –

David departed from there and escaped to the cave of Adullam. And when his brothers and all his father’s house heard it, they went down there to him. And everyone who was in distress, and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was bitter in soul, gathered to him. And he became captain over them. And there were with him about four hundred men.

Every time I read this I am reminded of the movie The Dirty Dozen. Do you remember that movie? During WW2, the US government has what is a suicide mission to kill most of the major Nazi generals. They pull together a group of misfit soldiers with criminal records – men who have nothing to lose – and convince them to do the mission. In the end, they become an elite fighting force. Originally, trusting no one, they eventually learn to trust each other with their lives.

This is exactly the kind of thing we see here. Some men who are fighting to protect David because they know he is the Lord’s anointed, some men because they have nothing to lose, others who have felt the emptiness of the false gods of their homelands and have come to Israel to the worship the living God – all of them coming together around a common task of fighting for David.

Men, this should give us hope. All of us are coming with pasts we are ashamed of. All of us are coming with sins that still seem to enslave us. All of us are with lots of work to do in learning how to live as a godly husbands and father. All of us need to work at being men of God.

And yet, despite our flaws, we can come together around the common cause of serving Christ. Despite our various backgrounds and situations, we can experience a deep sense of brotherhood. The kind of brotherhood that allows us to open up to one another, so that we can be held accountable for our lives and experience encouragement and support are we serve Christ.

Conclusion

Many of you will have seen the movie Braveheart. It’s the fictionalized account of the real man William Wallace who helped inspire his fellow Scotsmen to pursue freedom from the British. Although Wallace sounded the call to arms, it was Robert the Bruce that led Scotland to freedom.

Just before Robert the Bruce died in 1329, he asked that his heart to be removed from his body and taken on a crusade by a worthy knight. His closest friend, James Douglas honored this last request. So, Bruce’s heart was removed, embalmed, and placed in a container that hung from his friend’s neck.

In the early spring of 1330, Douglas was in Spain battling the Mores when he found himself in an ill-fated battle, surrounded by the enemy. Once Douglas realized that his own death was imminent, he pulled the heart of his long dead king from his neck and threw it into the ranks of the enemy. Drawing his sword, he yelled, “Fight for the heart of your king!”

Such devotion to a mere human king should surely pale in comparison to our devotion to the divine King of all kings! Could that be said of you, brothers?

At its most basic level this is what it means to be a disciple – a servant – of Christ. It means embracing the merciful love of a holy God towards sinners, and responding with a loyal, sacrificial love of your own. The kind of love that says, ‘I will faithfully serve my King wherever he calls me to go, on whatever mission he calls on me to undertake.”

In work, family life, or in church – I will serve Christ the King with the devotion that is due him.

SERMON NOTES: Prov 31:10-31 (Pursuing True Beauty message 4)

Sermon Notes are not exact transcripts of sermons preached at BBC. Instead, they are simply the notes the pastor took with him into the pulpit and preached from. As a result, the actual sermon that was preached may vary from what is posted.

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Excellence – Living in Light of the Fear of the Lord
Proverbs 31:10-31

Introduction

In her book, The Significant Woman, Donna Morley talks about an issue of the Ladies Home Journal back in 1999. As some of you can imagine, I am not a frequent read of the Journal. However, the issue in question was interesting. It featured an article about who they considered “100 Most Important Women of the 20th Century.”

Among those listed were some you’d expect – Mother Teresa and Helen Keller. But a surprise entry was Margaret Sanger (1879-1966). Morley writes:

Sanger first found notoriety when she wrote and published the magazine The Woman Rebel. . . With the slogan “No Gods! No Masters!” emblazoned on this magazine, Sanger advertised her eight-page publication as “a paper of militant thought.” The first issue denounced marriage as a “degener­ate institution,” capitalism as “indecent exploitation,” and sexual mod­esty as “obscene prudery.” An article titled “A Woman’s Duty” proclaimed that rebel women were to “look the whole world in the face with a go-to-hell look in the eyes.” In another article she said that rebel women claim the following rights: the right to be lazy, the right to be an unmarried mother, the right to destroy . . . and the right to love. In later issues she wrote on sexual liberation and defended political assassinations.

Though Sanger married and became the mother of three, as time went on, she advocated free love. She eventually left her husband to follow this philosophy. It was at this time that The Woman Rebel got the attention of the postal service. Sanger was indicted on three counts for the publication of lewd and indecent articles in violation of the federal Comstock Laws, which were passed in 1873 to keep “obscene and las­civious” material from traveling through the postal system.

If convicted, Sanger could have gotten five years in jail. Rather than face prison, she fled to England where she lived as a fugitive. In later years, desiring to return to the U.S., she pulled off a cunning pub­lic relations campaign that forced authorities to drop all charges against her. Once back in the U.S., Sanger remarried and assured her lovers that her “marriage would make little or no difference in her life—apart from the convenience of money, of course.”

While continuing on with her free sex, Margaret became closely associated with the scientists and theorists who put together Nazi Germany’s “race purification” program. She had openly endorsed the euthanasia, sterilization, abortion, and infanticide programs of the early Reich. She published a number of articles in her new magazine, The Birth Control Review, that mirrored Hitler’s Aryan-White Supremacist rhetoric. She even commissioned Dr. Ernst Rudin, the director of the Nazi Medical Experimentation program, to write for The Review himself. It was Nazi ideology that influenced Sanger to found the Planned Parenthood Federation of America in 1941. The same woman who gave us Planned Parenthood wrote the book The Pivot of Civilization, where she calls for the elimination of “human weeds,” for the cessation of charity, for the segregation of “morons, misfits, and the maladjusted,” and for the sterilization of “genetically inferior races.”

The fact that she would make a list called “The 20 Most Important Women of the 20th Century” is, quite frankly, disturbing.

So, if that is the kind of woman our society holds up as a model for women, what kind of woman does the Bible hold up as a model? Who does God point to as an important woman? Who does God say is a model of women today? The answer is found in Proverbs 31, where we see the excellent wife.

If you want to see this model is fleshed out, read the book of Ruth. Ruth is called ‘excellent’ (same word) and the Hebrews put the book of Ruth right after Proverbs.

1. The Excellence of Her Value

“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” The word ‘excellent’ is translated in a variety of ways – virtuous, capable, noble character, perfect. The word actually has military overtones denoting strength and power as virtuous character qualities. Thus in every way, the one being described is an excellent wife. She is one who wise navigate the warlike struggles of life and comes though as the victor.

Nevertheless, the question is posed – who can find such a woman? The question is a good one and should still be asked today. I can remember sitting in a Sunday School class in college. The teacher asked about the kind of woman we should marry. I immediately turned to this passage and read it to the class. When I was done, another girl in the class responded by saying, ‘good luck finding that kind of wife!’ Here, we are told that such a woman is so precious and yet hard to come by, that her value cannot even be compared to the worth of jewels.

In fact, Lemuel goes to great lengths to show the incredible value of an excellent wife. This poem of sorts is constructed of a series of 22 proverbs statements. Each statement begins with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet. So, for example, if we were going to do something similar today, We might start with …

This was actually common in Hebrew literature. The most famous examples in the Bible are found in Psalm 119 and Lamentations 1-4. Such acrostics accomplished a number of purposes.
First, they were an artistic labor to demonstrate the importance and beauty or pathos of the topic.

The very task of selecting words that fit the alphabetic structure was a labor of love, a self-imposed burden which the poet carried as a badge of his de­sire to offer a pleasing sacrifice to the wonder and winsomeness of womanhood. Second, the acrostic could serve as an aid to the memory of the pupil whose recall of each successive, verse would be triggered by which letter it had to begin with. Third and probably uppermost in the mind of the artist, the acrostic was an expression of comprehensiveness. The topic was fully covered from A to Z (or aleph to tau in Hebrews), And the very act of canvassing the alphabet demonstrated the complete­ness of the virtues, skills, and accomplishments of the ideal wife.

Thus, Lemuel has not only gone to great lengths to not only tell us how valuable such an excellent woman is, but the very style of his composition reinforces the beauty and worth of the one being written about.

2. The Excellence of Her Relationships

A. Her husband (31:11-12, 23)

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (31:11-12). This excellent woman is first described by the way her husband sees her. Specifically, we are told his hearts trusts in her.

Today, we often use our heart as a symbol of our emotions. But in the biblical world, the heart is much different. The heart stands for one’s core personality. All that makes that person who they are is signified in their heart. Thus, the entirety of the husband’s life finds trust in his wife. He trust her to the point of making himself vulnerable, depending on her to follow through taking care of him and the household.

How is he repaid for such trusts? “he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (31:11-12). In every other instance in the Old Testament, the word we have as ‘gain’ here, is translated as plunder – the spoil gained from warfare. The image is a striking one. Remember wisdom literature is about teaching us to live wisely in God’s world. And here the excellent woman is pictured as a warrior in such a world. She embodies wisdom,
and so comes out of the battles of life with trophies of war, allowing her family to thrive in conflict.

Thus, the Lemuel can say “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Charles Bridges reminds us how rare this is –
Consider Eve, the first helpmeet, who also became the first tempter;
Consider Solomon’s many wives, who though gave him pleasure, drew his heart away from God;
Consider Job’s wife who – in the midst of suffering – told her husband to curse God and die;
Consider Rebekah who cared for her husband, yet deceived him by helping Jacob steal Esau’s blessing.
Consider Rachel who loved Jacob, yet brought idolatry into his house;
Consider Michal preserving David’s life, yet later despising him as the servant of God.

How very easy it is for a wife to do both good and harm to a husband. But how rare to do only good? And yet that is the characteristics of the excellent wife.

Such is the good of the excellent wife that, “Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land” (31:23). Her husband can be an elder – a leader in the community – because of the support of his wife. She takes care of him and household, so that he may work for the good of the community. Furthermore, such is her own reputation that is actually elevates the reputation of her husband. Thus, the modern proverb is true that ‘behind every great man is a great women.’

Lemuel says it is difficult to find a wife who does only good for her husband. Yet, this is the kind of woman you are to strive to be, ladies; this is the kind of woman we raise our daughters to be; this is the kind of woman we encourage our sons to seek after.

B. Her family (31:21-22, 27-29)

Verses 21-22 say “She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple” (31:21-22).
Snow was not a frequent occurrence in Israel, though in the central hill country it did happen occasionally.

How many of you know people who never prepare for worst. Instead, they play the odds and invest other places. Though they can afford it, some people never buy insurance, others never put up smoke detectors in the home. But then they are terrified and have no idea what to do when they are in a car accident, or get caner, or there is a fire in their home. Not so with the Proverbs 31 woman. Though the snow was infrequent, she was prepared. She has clothes of scarlet – warm clothes – ready for her family.

But she is not just prepared for the infrequent needs, she is concerned to provide for the everyday needs of her family. Because of her diligence, which we will see later, the excellent wife “makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.” She wants to provide the best she can for her family. It doesn’t mean she lives beyond her means, or that she somehow spoils her family. Rather, the emphasis is on the fact that she doesn’t go cheap when it comes to providing for them.

She can do this because, “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” (31:27). It came as a great shock in my life – and honestly, something of a disillusionment to me – when I found out that some of the laziest people in the world are students preparing for ministry. In my way of thinking, they should be some of the hardest working. But such is not the case.

Do not misunderstand what I am saying. I am not saying that if you walked onto the campus of Southern Seminary, all you would find is a bunch of sluggards sitting around watching the grass grow. What I am saying is, the percentage of students who were lazy in their studies surprised me. What was the result? What was the bread they were forced to eat because of their laziness?
Bad grades, a shallow walk with God, and ineffective ministries.

Lemeul says, the excellent wife is never forced to eat the bread of laziness – a wrecked home, bad children, an unhappy husband may exist, but it is not because of her laziness. Rather, like a watchman on the tower, she looks well after her household.

The result of such care is that, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all’” (31:28-29). Those who are closest her and benefit the most from her care, are the one who give her the most sincere and lasting praise. Her husband specifically says, ‘Yeah, there are other women like you – excellent women who serve their families well, but you stand far above them all.’

Ralph Crandon put it well, when at the end of almost every episode of the Honeymooners, he would say to [wife]: “Baby, you’re the greatest!”

C. Her neighbors (31:20)

It is amazing that given the level of care for her family she has anything left. And yet, amazingly, we then read verse 20 – “She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy” (31:20). Previous to this chapter, the book of Proverbs has spoken of the wisdom of being generous to the poor.

But more than that, in this age of biblical history, One who “reaches out her hand to the needy” fulfills Christ command to ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ (Matt 22:39). Thus, in every human relationship, the excellent woman shows wisdom, love, and selflessness in meeting the needs of herself and others.

3. The Excellence of Her Work

Last week we talked about people who try to use the Bible to say women should not work outside the home. To that I will simply say, ‘they have never read Proverbs 31.’

To begin with we are told, “She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong” (31:17). She is not a weakling, nor is she so girly that she is afraid to work. Whether or nor this is her natural disposition is beside the point. He prepares herself for the work.

The kind of work she involves a several things. First, “She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands” (31:13). The woman is not stuck at home, But goes out into the public square and the market to obtain what she needs to make clothes. Then, once she has the material she needs, “She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle” (31:19). She begins working hard at actually making the clothes. In all of this, she displays an incredible sense of domestic industry.

She sees herself working at the service for her family, but she is not just making clothes for her family. Verse 18 – “She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.” She stays up late preparing to sell her works. Verse 24 makes this explicit. “She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant” (31:24).

More than just making things for her family and to sell in the market, She also “She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard” (31:16). Here, the excellent wife is seen engaged in the purchase of real estate. Notice she is the one who goes out to inspect the field, she is the one who decided whether or not it is worth purchasing, and she is the one who eventually works the field, turning it into a vineyard. Presumably, this is again both a way to provide for her family, and engage in business.

The result of all this hard work is that, “[the woman becomes] like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar” (31:14). The trade ships of the day both bought and sold. They set out from one port to deliver needed goods, there picking up more goods to be sold at the home port. Thus, the woman leaves the home port of her household, to sell her products in the market place, where she would then use the money to buy food for her family.

After a day of selling and buying, bartering and haggling for the best prices, preparing food for her family, staying up late doing more work, she would then rise early in the morning to provide for her entire household. Verse 15 says, “She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens” (31:15). Again, we see the truth in a modern proverb – “the early bird gets the worm”

The point, of course, in all of this is that the Bible is not advocating the kind of family-neglecting, corporate power-broker as a viable job option for women. Even as we have already seen this morning, the wife and mother’s family is to be the priority. And here we see that all of her hard work is ultimately for her family.

For such loving dedication Lemuel sagely observes, “Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates” (31:31).

4. The Excellence of Her Character

As we think about all that this passage has offered, it could be very easy to fall into the performance trap – feeling like your worth lies in your ability meet everyone’s expectations.

But, here at the end, we have the real key to seeing all of this accomplished. The foundation – the platform – from which such a life is built and launched and does not fail comes in living in light of the fear of the Lord.

In verse 30 we are told, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (31:30). Isn’t it amazing how much money is spent on cosmetics in this country? The amount of money on elective surgeries? I’m not saying that – nor do I think the Bible is saying – that women should not take care of them selves, and desire to look presentable.
But when the pursuit of external beauty is such that one’s confidence and desirability rests solely in there is a problem.

In part, this is because we know that external beauty is transient. It fades with time and not even Joan Rivers can overcome it. More than that it, external beauty is deceptive. I remember seeing someone early in the morning one time, before she had her face on, as it were – no make up or anything. She looked like a totally different person.

These things do not change over time. This is why the teacher here says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain.” But what cannot be faked, what will not fade with time, is the character given by a fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord is simply that reverential sense of awe that leads to a love for, a faith in, and an obedience to the Lord. That is the measure of true worth in any person – man or woman – and when it’s found, that is what is worthy to be praised.

Ladies when you have a deep fear of the Lord, then like this woman, “Strength and dignity [will be your] clothing, and [you will be able to] laugh at the time to come” (31:25). Fearing the Lord means you won’t fear anything else. That includes having anxiety for the future. This doesn’t mean the woman is naïve. It means she prepares for the future, and then trusts the Lord and his wisdom and providential care for her life.

Furthermore, having a fear of the Lord means that, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (31:26). Elsewhere in Proverbs we are told that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Thus it is no surprise that wise teaching comes from her lips. But I also think that her lack of fear and her words are related. Have you ever met someone like this before? Aren’t they the ones you want advice from? If someone is nervous and anxious about what is to come, I can not relying on them much at all.

And so, here again we see that the pursuit of godliness – the pursuit of excellence in all areas of life. The excellent life that comes from a fear of the Lord, doesn’t just benefit you ladies, but those around – family, friends, associates – who can benefit from your kind and wise advice.

Conclusion

This is the model presented to us as an excellent woman.